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UNCEREMONY

by Annakarina

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1.
AUSTERE 01:19
THEY TRIED LIVING THIS STRUGGLE ON THEIR OWN TERMS. NO. GOD SAVE US ALL.
2.
WALDEN POND 01:28
MY AUNT DIED ALONE IN THE SHOWER LIKE SHE WAS WAITING FOR THE BUS I'M NOT PROTECTED MY NERVES ARE RESTLESS I HEAR A VOICE I HEAR A PRESENCE NOBODY TOLD ME HOW TO LIVE ALONE
3.
I HATE THE PATH THAT YOU WALK SO WELL I'M TRYING TO FALL THROUGH THE SUBWAY GRATE 4X4 MY OPEN FLOOR LITTLE THINGS, STRANGERS WANDER IN LITTLE THINGS, BIRDS COME FLYING IN SHAME AND THIRST WHICH CAME FIRST YOUR WET LIPS DRUNKENNESS SUNFLOWER, IN NIGHTGOWN YOU WEAR FOR GHOST LOVERS I CANNOT POSSESS YOU I SHOULD NOT I WANT TO OBVIOUS DISTANCES NO CURRENT NO MOTIVE STOP YOUR HEART LEARN TO STOP YOUR HEART
4.
I JUST CAN'T BREATHE AND I WON'T AND I CAN'T GIVE CAUSE YOU'RE AN OPEN THROAT WASTING BREATH I AM DOWN AND YOU JUST CANT HELP ME UP RECLAIM THIS LIFE AS YOURS NOTHING IS LOST EVERYTHING PRIOR RESTORED THE INTERIM, FORGOT TELL ME I SAW NOTHING A TRICK OF THE LIGHT I KNOW YOU LIED I'LL BELIEVE IT TONIGHT I KNOW THAT THERE'S MORE THAN A FLEETING APPARITION ENDLESSLY LYING SUPINE YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME
5.
YOUR MARKS ARE GONE ST. JOHN HAS COME JUXTA CRUCEM LACRIMOSA I TRIED TO BITE MY SHOULDERS LIKE MY TEETH DON'T GRIP LIKE YOURS DID I GRASP AT SOMETHING MORE FILLING THAN AIR ELIXIR TO SORROW RELIEF FROM DESPAIR CONCUPISCENCE, LIMERENCE A VAST YAWNING ACHE A BOTTOMLESS YEARNING ONLY ONE THING CAN SLAKE MY FANTASY OF HONESTY MISERABLE AND I'M STRETCHED OUT ON DAYS YOU WOVE AN UGLY SACKCLOTH SHROUD WITH EVERY DOUBT OF MINE BUT IF I THINK ABOUT IT NOW... I'LL KILL THIS LOVE TONIGHT
6.
CHIMERAS 00:53
RISE UP DETRITUS BELOVED OF OSIRIS TAUNTED BY FOES IN DESPONDENT REPOSE AWAKE TO YOUR CHANCE TO TAKE VENGEANCE HOLY INDIGNATION REANIMATES FLESH LUNGS WITHERED NOW QUIVER WITH FURIOUS BREATH REWRITE THIS HISTORY OF MISERY AND BLOODSHED PURGE THIS WORLD OF THIS SCOURGE OF THIS BLACK PLAGUE LIKE DAYLIGHT CASTS OUT THE NIGHT
7.
WELTZSCHMERS 03:15
I gaze out the rose tinted windows of my ghost, but the sight that greets them just leaves them sore.Perception's a cracked windshield when the shot glass is half full. Under noxious concussion sleep, I have a nightmare of discrepancy between what is and what could be. So taken with possibility that I can't see the forest for reality. This world is not my home, I'm just passing through. I'm still trapped on this desolate stone every time I click my ruby shoes. Expunge my existence like a minor offense committed by an adolescent deity pubescent petty piety. Cursed into birth,life sentence unearned, can't spring the clink of unrest,the house arrest of never feeling at peace. Peace of mind,a piece of mine: I WANNA DIE. I just wanted to know... (if your heart's so far from home.) I just wanted to know... (what are you riding out alone.) If your heart's in your chest, or in the dirt And what the fuck! The sunset is just polluted skies and Fall, which halts our breath, is just the color shit turns when it dies.
8.
SUCCESSIONS 05:23
breathe in, breathe in, breathe in and breathe out slowly count to ten find the courage to find a clear mind as yr heart beats itself into submission i miss the safety of the past when the world was more vast than the front yard, its hard my body was fine then and so was I. those birds, their songs, these days are like a din. their voices complain that the sun is a menace, so arrogant, how its light can never fade But I feel so close to the ceiling and nothing else and life's like falling asleep before the sun sets the curtains do no good so you took them down But I'm not brave enough to try to keep these hands from shaking so I shut my eyes tighter than I ever thought I could. Try to make it stop. God, I'm not brave enough to try Cause aging is just a succession of smaller, whiter rooms for us to pace in. And I'm scared. But you can't stop a moving train Or capture life in a picture frame, you can only understand and accept so breathe in, breathe in, breathe in, breathe in, breathe in. And I'm not afraid anymore.
9.
I WROTE YOU A SHAMEFUL LITANY DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT FROM ARM'S LENGTH DISCREPANCIES BETWEEN YOU AND WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME I CANT DECIDE BETWEEN YOU AND WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME HOUSE OF GOLD MORNINGSTAR DISTANT GHOST FACE OF GOD THERE IS NO VESSEL, THERE IS NO HOME IMPERMANENCE, IMPERMANENCE YOUR PENANCE IS THIS YOU CANNOT CONFESS

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released December 2, 2014

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Annakarina Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Annakarina is the work of Chloe June from 2010-2015 and brought back to life in 2020 with members of Short Fictions, Shin Guard, Scratchy Blanket, and Coma Regalia

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